A personal reflection: My college experience¶
This is a story I've shared numerous times and each time edited differently...
It's hard to pick a point in time to begin the story of my college experience. Perhaps it's best to start by framing myself as a non-traditional college student... For one, I did not graduate high-school, I was fully independent, and I was navigating the workforce the best a 18-year-old can. But it is there, in the workforce, that an adult first encouraged me to consider college as an option. Their words went something like, you are young... consider college as an option, else you may find yourself here - like me - working the same job I've been doing for my lifetime with little opportunity. I knew of this persons daily struggles, as they were a friend of those I was living with at the time. Of course those aren't their exact words, but for whatever reason they sparked an interest into college.
At this time in my life, I was living in the isolated landscape in the mountains of Colorado. I was not living with my parents and had not been for many years. I was living with a friend's family, actually I bounced between friends, and without them I would have been homeless. But, this one household was my primary and where I applied to college. At this time, there was a requirement for ACT/SAT scores as well as a High-School Diploma to enter college. So, simple enough, mark in-progress for High School and register to take the ACT exam. I was learning how to complete this from my friend, who was being supported through one of their parents and advisors, I didn't have such support.
On the eve of the ACT test is when my story has an interesting plot point. As most students have test anxiety before the exam, mine became exponential that night. As in the midnight hours, a domestic violent situation occurred in the house - this was actually the norm for my living environment. But what made this event unique, is on this evening my friend and I where chased from the house by a person yielding a shotgun. Yep, a shotgun pointed at us! We ran and we where chased... where shots fired, I suspect yes.
I don't recall where we slept that night, perhaps in the woods, and yet somehow we made it to the school for the ACT testing in the morning. Once the testing begun, I put my head down, wept, and feel asleep. Needless to say my scores were not high; however they were low enough to allow me to enter college, at Metro State. From my understanding this is due to a "bell-curve" measure for admittance from the ACT scores, allowing a percent of students on either end, both high and low... I believe it may have been tied to affirmative action in someway, just a guess. So cool, I'm admitted to college!
As time moves forward, I left that living situation and relocated; and earned my High School Equivalency and applied for Financial Aid. As a side note, it turns out I found myself in another abusive household and eventually leads me to starting college homeless. But I digress and will pick up on that later and want to point to catch in Financial Aid. The catch being, even though I was independent from my parents, I was still financially tied to them until the age of 24. This is further complicated because one of my parents earned enough money to significantly contribute to my education, therefore I was denied all financial help. The one parent who could contribute, refused - for whatever reason - while the other had no means to support. I was actually encouraged by my parent's abusive spouse to drop out and take on labor/factory work (put my head down, earn a paycheck and live for retirement, or something like that)... Okay, I'll admit, this timeline is messy and probably not linear at this point... but when I was beginning college, I was bouncing in and out of abusive households, and always on the verge of homelessness or homeless. But I had the desire to learn... to prove to myself that I could... something my earlier experiences in education tried to squash out of me.
It was during my first year in college that I had to learn to self-advocate for academic support. I found myself far below the literacy/numeracy level needed. I was also in a culture shift, in a setting that I imagined to be relatable to high-school - it was foreign to me. I struggled... attending classes and driving an hour for full time employment. At some point in my first year, I was homeless... living out of my car I purchased for $500 when I was around 19 or 20 (this was my first car). One thing I'm reminded of whenever I try to recall my past, there was little consistency in my life... creating complex timelines to keep track of... and holds true when I began college.
I ended up donating my car when it began having maintenance issues, then putting insurance and maintenance costs towards rent in Denver. I was able to take public transit to my job, but eventually quit because of the hour commute turned to a 3-hour commute through public transit. I found employment locally, but nothing anyone would consider sustainable.
I paid for my tuition out of pocket (paychecks), but I primarily paid for tuition using credit cards, as they were allowed to market to college students on campus at the time - pretty sure this is no longer allowed (predatory lending). However, without credit, I may have not been able to pay for tuition. I also kept local work, and eventually discovered "work-study" employment, I think I was eligible for this regardless of parent financial support or perhaps this happened when I was 24? But whenever it did happen, I remember being the one who was offered to take home food from meetings, and after events - no shame, they just knew I needed it. I have a friend who reminded me recently of the one-day I showed up to their house with boxes upon boxes of pizza - all left over from an athletic event - and how I left them enough to feed themselves for a month... I'm sure I did the same. As time went on, I was reliant on numerous food banks, handouts, and end of day throw aways - yay dumpster diving! The grocery store was a luxury.
As for housing, I eventually ended up living in cooperative housing... which grew to 12+ roommates who where majority students - and we supported each other in housing costs and food. We actually became a part of a larger community network of others doing the same and it was a very positive experience, creating community and friendships. The point being, how to keep housing and have food was always a thought while in school.
By the end of my undergrad, I was able to afford housing and food on my own... this is primarily due to that I was subsidized by financial aid - yay student loans! I'm still paying them off to this day, under an income driven payment plan.
Unfortunately, my financial struggles did not end after I graduated. Post graduation, I have had to rely on food banks as my primary food source at several points; sometimes while even working full-time - wages have not kept up with the cost of living at all. I have found myself long-term unemployed three times now - I think - each no fault of my own and all within the field of education. One lay-off even effected my first Masters program, which had a requirement of full-time employment and that was not available during The Great Recession. Even worse, it seems each time I reenter the workforce the wages offered to me have been less then the one I was laid off at... working backwards if you will, in position and wage.
With all that said, my past experience is mine and it is rich in experience and perspective. I often share my vulnerable experiences with students and colleagues, especially during my last employment working in Adult Basic Education. Many of the students I worked with come from similar/relatable backgrounds. Sharing academic and life struggles can be powerful and uniting... they can become reflective and actionable.
Update 2021-09-23¶
Thought of another interesting plot point... While I was homeless and living in the streets of Denver, I was sleeping somewhere near civic center station - which used to have an above ground park. It was there, that my high-school Art teacher recognized me. It was the only room in the building that I ever walked into, and one of the only people (teacher) who ever noticed and encouraged me. I remember we spoke shortly and at the end they said they would submit a letter of recommendation to Metro State. I'm not sure if I was already accepted, or still applying, but whatever they said in their letter of recommendation exempted me from a full-year of Fine Art prerequisites, giving me a jump start on a Fine Arts degree. I later switched degree paths, but that one teacher encouraged and supported me in a chance encounter.